I'm waiting for this test to end,

so these lighter days can soon begin. I'll be alone but maybe more carefree, like a kite that floats so effortlessly. I was afraid to be alone, now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be. All these faces, none the same. How can there be so many personalities? So many lifeless empty hands, so many hearts in great demand. And now, my sorrow seems so far away until I'm taken by these bolts of pain. But I turn them off and tuck them away 'till these rainy days that make them stay &then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs. And the words still ring, once here, now gone &they echo through my head everyday &I dont think they'll ever go away. Just like thinking of your childhood home but we cant go back, we're on our own.

I'm about to give this one more shot &find it in myself. I'll find it in myself.

So were speeding towards that time of year, to the day that marks that you're not here, &i think I'll want to be alone. So please understand if I dont answer the phone. I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls until I can see nothing at all, only particles some fast, some slow.All my eyes can see is all I know.

But I'm about to give this one more shot &find it in myself. I'll find it in myself.